Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
