To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
