I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
