Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Farmville is her only friend.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
