i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
