They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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