you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
