He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
me + whiskey = a bad person
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
