Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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