I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
