a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Come see our sink grown plant.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
