So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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