Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
