Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
