im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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