so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
