Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
