Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
