garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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