Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Sacagawea was the original milf.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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