It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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