goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
