i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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