I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
