what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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