Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
