im gay
i know
yea but for you.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
50% drunk capacity currently
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
