Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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