By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
