so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Your dad touched me again.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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