i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
