Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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