we're blogging at a bar
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
