my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
