They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
