Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
