so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
