from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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