No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
