come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
