Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
