Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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