drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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