So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
