i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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