I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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