I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
