If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
