Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
