I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
