dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
