please come you make the beer taste better
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
